verteidigst du mich, wenn ihr über mich redet?
― (via w-eltenbummlerin)

trillow:

this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid

beyonceish:

today i saw a scene couple in the hallway at school and the girl literally stopped kissing him so she could scratch his face and meow into his ear and he barked back i do not pay taxes for this shit 

recentgooglesearches:

Using Amazon to avoid human confrontation

cassjaytuck:

what if you started making car alarm noises when people you didn’t like touched you

  • Other teenagers: I lost my virginity at a party.
  • Me: I lost a follower when I was sleeping.