axedeodorant:

My mom told me my middle name was going to be ‘Stanley’ but then she realized that my initials would be ‘ASS’ so she changed my middle name to something generic and I was saved from ridicule but im pissed now bc there is a girl in my dorm who has the initials ‘ASS’. we could have been ASS buddies

  • me when i was 12: i will never tell my name or my age or where i live or talk to people i meet on the internet ever
  • me now: i probably wouldn't send nudes
  • foodchewer:

    if ur looking for me i’ll be in the trash

    unclemother:

    *walks into school* actually, no thanks *walks out*

    hemmoslegs:

    wanksclub:

    what if neighborhoods were organized by music genre

    I’d probably have a lot more friends

    basedpidgeot:

    stop enforcing the idea that u need 2 be in a relationship 2 be happy sometimes u just need more cereal

    tigersdrinktea:

    “Blow minds, not dudes” 

    Actually you can do both! What a concept! That women can be intelligent as well as sexually active! And we don’t live in the goddamn 18th century and women don’t have to be pure little virgin housewives if they don’t want to! Oh my gosh!